Opening Remarks - BSides London Orga

Good morning good people of Bides London. Sorry about the delay. Um we're going to have to rush through this because got obviously bit delayed this morning. Bit of a parachute downstairs now been fixed. Sorry for that. Hopefully won't be delayed for us today. So um Bides, who's been to a Bides before? Whose first Bides London is it? There's always two. Um, obviously we've been going now for this our 14th event. We're doing quite well. I've got a blank slide there for some reason. Um, first and foremostly, your health and safety is the most important thing to us. You turned up with all your limbs. We'd like you to leave with all your limbs. If you

turned up with not all your limbs, we'd like to leave with a number of limbs you left with. Um, if you hear of a fire alarm with no one due today, to best my knowledge, uh, where you see a suspicious guy running out door, follow him, okay? But do it calmly. Don't worry about your staff. Your health and safety is most important. The enforcer the enforcer. So yes, we have a code of code of conduct, but it's embarrassing to actually want need to have a code of conduct because the code of conduct for us is don't be a dick. If you want to be a dick, be a dick somewhere else and not here. So that's one thing. But the

second more important thing is that if there's something happening whatever it is please find us one of one of our goons and or find me and let us deal with this on the spot right now not in 6 months because we need some context for this. This is very important and don't be intimidated whoever is trying to do something to you don't be intimidated or be embarrassed. We are here to help you. This is a safe space. So please, please, please, again, I'm not saying it's going to happen, but please tell us instantly. Second thing, people steal [ __ ] This is not outside London, so your phone will not be snatched, but things happen.

Unfortunately, it is what it is. Please take care of your property. Don't leave it unattended because it just may disappear. Like I said, it's not it's not exactly Camden, so it's still fine. However, you know, things can get missing. So, please please please be aware of your surroundings and please be aware of of of your property. [clears throat] Also, if you're using public Wi-Fi, be warned that Dan cards in the room and your insurance. Yeah. If you need if you need a website to tell you how to behave yourself, seriously, just just [ __ ] off now. There you go. No, seriously, because Yeah. Don't um this is not cheap. Uh you may notice your ticket price is reflected in that.

So, that's where you get the quality certification, too. Um but someone's got to pay for it. It's the sponsors and um push have returned this year. They obviously didn't learn their lesson last year and um please go down and visit the sponsors. We have many sponsors you should visit. We have a bingo card which you can get down the first you don't have already. Put some stamps on it. Each spender has a stamp if you visit them. Talk to them nicely. They'll give you stuff. They might even employ you. Lots of them are um are um what they recruiting. That's the word. They got stamps. Get the stamps. Write your name on it. Clearly, at the end of talk,

we're going to give away a shitload of prizes and uh if you're not in the room, you can't get pulled out. Tough sh um >> prizes are [ __ ] amazing. >> Oh, we got some really good prizes. >> We haven't told you yet, but yes, they are. I would like to win, but I cannot. But >> I cannot win because I'm I work here, but the prizes are amazing. >> We we're going to tell you at some point. >> And Court in Junction's going against two of the sponsors. They're not allowed near them, so you got to have um Yes. Elseie Endor, they're new trust this year. Adobe new this year. The Jane Street, they're returning, although they

don't have a desk downstairs, so they're nice. JP Morgan, there was some whiz. So, please go and see those guys. Our gold sponsors of which there are many. I've got some recon some new ones this year. I'm Fro Black Hills for the first time here. You may place Check Second Flare. They've been here before and thank you very much. Reverse Secville. Unfortunately, it's a contract. I have to do this. Hello, Jump Sec and Prison. Prisoners return jump second time here I think Shinobi first time this year good socket the first time sublime security the best security name ever tennibble oh are they brilliant just go and see tenn the girls are fantastic times and trace bit um trace bit and rumfield did

a thing last night didn't from blackout they did that you could have gone to it but we have some silver sponsors um so active fence due this year heretic they've been sponsoring us for some time by hazard village yeah we have village sponsoring us which is really cool uh but they're here as a village so don't look for them. Harmonic they doing our landlords in the second year running integrity they've been with us before Lloyd's new Sam gra report URI and Scott's around here so I'm not too sure Scott Hi Scott um go see Scott about all things he does certificates and other things and don't shoot him with Nerf guns but if you do have Nerf gun shoot

him um not solutions they're just dodgy as hell um we had some another hiccup the only hiccup we've had this year is some printing issues and it's really mean to say Insta print really knocked out the part for us last night. They literally drove down with a load of stuff for several hours. 9:00 last night we got our bags, badges and all that kind of stuff last night and w into the early hours of the morning and sort of stuff out. But seriously, [applause]

[applause] they're not sponsoring us, but yeah, they really helped. It would have been really bad. That banner wouldn't have been there for a style. These would have been here. It would have been embarrassing. Um, our charity as always is the cancer research. Um the clapping monkey track is named after Mike Kemp who we lost in 2019. Um many other people have been affected by cancer as far as this. It's a leveler as far as charities go. It's a very worthy character. There are many of them out there. We believe that one is the most worthy for the general population. Um so therefore down the information desk we've got a raffle. If you wish to buy

tickets please do. Again there are some excellent prizes and they are actually pretty good this year. Um we've got uh the sticker store downstairs. So you know come on. I know some of you are doing well. Come on, give us your money. I'm not Bob Gild off, but come on, show us your [ __ ] money. Um, and um this year and the the volunteers don't know about this, so this is Yeah, I can't do this and not tell them. We got some coins made this year for the volunteers. Now, um we have got a little bit of excess of the coins because some volunteers just didn't show up, but don't worry, I'll email them. Um but we

got one of those to go from the ravel. One of them will be going on the bingo card among other prizes. And also, we're doing a sign auction. So, I know one of you guys really wants this coin and you have far too much money. You don't know what you do with. We like to take that money off you, give it to charity. So, if you go down to the information desk, um tell them how much you would like to bid at 430. We'll go through those and the one with the most zeros. Yeah, no pressure. Four is nice, but yeah. Um, one of the most zero with a number in front of it, know your audience. Uh, um, we'll, um,

we'll ring you up, contact you, stuff like that. If you confirm that basically you are not Daffy Duck, it was a real actual bid. We'll ask you for that. You can either pay on stage or pay beforehand if you don't want to be known. That's kind of good stuff. And, uh, we'll furnish you with that coin if you give us the Fieldview Luca. Fantastic. Uh, we have villages this year. Uh, Battlebots back this year. You want to see mini mini robots beating the [ __ ] out of each other, that's your place you want to go. Um, Bristol Oxport and the Moon on the Stick are doing the lockpicking. Not to um hasn't been tall

for two years, but we've called them to for the last two years. So, to have had lots of free advertising, but it's actually these guys. Never mind. Parking village. They're back this year. And we've got a friend's guy. Um, Ian who works at Bentley Motors doing automatic security. He's D is in the box car in the box. Dave Rogers from Cockles is back with these driving rig. Uh Safy McCall's here this year. Safety was actually one of our rookie speakers several years ago. Now she's doing extreme well for herself and she also does racing driving. So go speak to her. She's doing some demonstrations and stuff. Not like protests. Yeah. Demonstrations. Don't want any protests.

No protesting out. Uh M village, they come back this year. We give them twice the size cuz they're quite popular last year. The OT village. Now the OT village are actually having Bides OT next year, next March. So go and speak to them about that. I actually don't know where it's actually being held, but they actually got their own bides. So um go and speak to them about that. Lots of stuff. Quantum village, go there and speak to that stuff. I have no comprehending. They talk and it's just like words, but it sounds really clever and it is actually really really good. So they got lots they got some activities for today. So if you go to

all those villages, the Malware village, Ken village and the qu village, they actually do have a list of activities today. You can actually see the times and stuff. So they're doing some stuff. And the last one's the RF um village. So um Grant from Belfast is over. So got lots of ask if you got if you got flipper zero to use it. Go and speak to them. Must give you a warning about the Wi-Fi and the flipper zero in all seriousness stuff like that. If you see a network that you're not authorized to use, don't [ __ ] touch it. If you see any Bluetooth stuff go around and you're not authorized to touch it, don't [ __ ]

touch it. A lot of medical appliances now have Bluetooth and medical security is not funny, mate. And medical security is char on a scale of really good to really bad. It's [ __ ] And so don't attack it. Just seriously, just don't don't be that guy. Uh or I I'll send you to her. And she scares the [ __ ] out of me. Right. Uh we have our CTF. Uh if you want to take a photograph of this, the details will be on the information desk. Um, I'll put the URL and the Discord group out on Twitter immediately after this. The password I won't, but if you can't remember the password, well, you should be doing a CTF.

Uh, but that will be downstairs on the um information desk as well. So, give it 5 or 10 minutes for me to get through the crowd, get downstairs, and so and then give it to them and that'll be there. Uh, aside from that, that's it. I tried to keep on time 10:00, so that's good. Might be a slight load for next talk, but we've done it. Thank you very much for coming. Otherwise, it would have been really embarrassing talking to an empty room. Even those empty seats, people standing up there. Those seats won't happen next year. They'll be missing seats. It's very [ __ ] import. Enjoy your day. Closing talks at 17:30. That's when we're giving all the [ __ ]

away. Thank you. And uh please enjoy yourself. Be safe. Be nice to each other. And uh