Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself

so hi my name is Joe not before I am lets off my desk I work for BBC but I did move the time one of my commuters things is talking about mental health I'm feeling his favorite thing to talk about so like my Twitter handle I don't score health I don't think I say is on the speaker notes for the slides there is a link on the last slide to the speaker notes so if I talk too quickly you miss that link or you want to look at me afterwards look there also I'm not going to talk about anything massively like massively in detail value my symptoms so there should be any trigger warnings needed but if you do punch

stuff more please feel free to leave similarly you need to go to the loo pretty don't do that because everything comes miss I think of their me saying it in a slightly less eloquent way in the speaker notes so what I'm going to talk about today specifically in two sections there is section about how I look after my mental health how I check in with myself and then there is section on how to have those conversations of how to code went along home sewer goes I'm having trouble because everyone wants to be helpful to people who are having troubles with health right but those conversations are also quite hard to have and they're quite hard to feel like you're having

them in a way that is helpful and corrected not really really awkward as the one who has had those conversations from both sides of the table I've got some tips that's why I can share those with you as well so hopefully you're come out of this talk with some ideas or maybe how to check in with your mental health along regardless if you're suffering with mental illness or not and how to have some conversations about that because we all have mental ill-health you may not all have diagnosable mental illness but we all go through periods of feeling of mental ill health stress losing something or someone when you're physically ill you can get a lot more anxious about that

kind of things and that can lead to mental health there may be short situational it's called situational mental ill-health where an external or a different situation is causing mental health but we'll all go through that so these tips are useful to have regardless of your experience with mental ill-health because we will all go so it doesn't point in our life like unfortunately we'll keep it in the faces okay so can you hear me in the back I'm not a load of hoping I'll be all good thanks I just shout out is it this thing okay tomorrow I won't do wandering then I'll try and stay here I'm a bit of a wanderer but I'll try and stay around

here then no perfect okay it works on here but not on there anything know what I'm just gonna just gonna [Music] so it's working on here but then if I put that as it there now it's working at me who knows cool so my mental health status sorry I'll stay here my mental health status is that I suffer from generalized anxiety disorder a very mild case of complex PTSD i medicated on what i've been on meds for about seven years and i am in therapy so i am very familiar with the mental health system and dealing with that kind of stuff I'm very open about this stuff because the more I talk about it the less weird it is to talk

about it's less scary for me because the more I say things and then people aren't worried about it the less scary is to talk about things which means it's less because I suffer from anxiety everything is scary if I can make things less scary brilliant there are always people who feel who appreciate me talking about it is always someone who comes to me ghosts thank you for talking about it there was someone at my old work at my work I work for BBC who came to me and said that she because I've seen you tested her she applied for a senior test a role after hearing me talk about my mental health issues because she owns herself with

some ental health issues I thought well if she can do it maybe I can do it as well so it doesn't make a massive difference the reason I know so much about self-care is that I've had to pull myself up off the ground and figure this stuff out myself if I can help one other person to have this definite talk it's so they don't have to learn it the hard way then it makes it kind of all worth it there was something doesn't get out of the struggles i went through trying to get diagnosed so that's kind of why I'm here talking about this stuff this is just going to be a thing that happens

but I can't change this to the next slide there we go so the biggest thing I wanna talk about today is being aware of your feelings and emotions which is a really great thing to say because I'm people are generally aware of what they're feeling right but I wonder how much we engage with those feelings in a really like entirely rounded way I didn't I started doing therapy I did two cognitive behavioral therapy which is where you look at the feelings you're having are you trying to find evidence for those feelings no that's against those feelings it's a good way of dealing with anxiety because it's you have a front of you that your brain is lying to you when

it's anxious about things which anxiety is a lot of the time it's your brain lying to you about things going wrong I'm not saying you have to be constantly navel-gazing because who has the time for that right no one but I like right I like picking out what's triggering strong emotions good and bad I keep the cry to journal so I'm great so I write down one thing every day that I'm grateful for so as a reminder of the good things in my life leave our particularly strong negative emotion as well I try to figure out why why that's gone from what's triggering it just because there's useful information to have knowing your own mind is quite

useful in knowing why you have feelings is quite useful to have whether it's something that you can avoid in the future away something that you need to work on they're both it's always worth having even if you do nothing it's still information information by itself is not necessarily a bad thing it is a lot of work it can be a lot of work on the on the slide for this there is a PDF of a cognitive behavior worksheet where you write down your feelings openness before evidence against and you can rate how strong those feelings are if you want to give that a go you can it's not helpful to everyone absolutely not but it is to

me because this thing that mental health as well what's helpful to me might not be helpful to everyone else because it's entirely unique so I'm just giving you what helps me and hoping that you are they find something useful or it kind of inspires you to think about this stuff because it might not work for you that you might look at this stuff and go no that's fine it's so I think is so unique that all we can do is talk about our own experiences and hope that something connect somewhere hmm there's a book called Crucial Conversations tools for talking when the stakes are high dick no one's heard of that book that book is really good for thinking about

how you how the feelings that you feel in the moment that's actually a really good book is they saying that things like managers talking how hard conversations with staff but it's actually really good for communication across the board the examples are a bit heteronormative it's always Bill and his wife Emily but other than that genuinely quite a good book I highly recommend him so the first thing I do is I write all the time I am constantly writing things unless I really try to get my mouse over this side I find of mine what said that the writing is the cheapest form the therapy you can get because all therapies is talking about your fitting interrogating

your feelings and the reason I particularly like writing is because you can write you can't write as fast as you can think when you're stuck in a stressful situation or actual situation and your mind is going at like 50 miles an hour writing things out it's a way you get it to slow down because you can only keep up with your hand when I take your writing I write by hand with a pen and paper because that's what feels good to me you don't have to you can type it out you can talk it you can record yourself talking it out you can do sketch notes and mind maps whatever you want to do what I find helpful is

getting my thoughts out in a way that I can review them back because reviewing the back often leads to revelations about that things right so that is my that's why I say writing I mean right get your thoughts out in a way where you can review them at a later date and they're concrete and it is slower than your thoughts so for me that is writing again you might not be able to do anything with those feelings with all those that information it's having that information and being aware of things that for me really helps no no that way right we really mean to ourselves as a species right but all the time we really

mean to ourselves how often have we stayed awake thinking of things that like interruptions is that the other person does not remember when the waiter said enjoy your meal in you went thanks you two that kind of stuff that keeps you those interactions that person is not gonna remember but you remember and you'll remember at 3 in the morning we're really mean to ourselves all the time the reason I write I write something thankful for every day is to remind myself that there are good things in my life and I don't know I don't know unique you think every day so I was right what I'm great before even if I mean great for it before because that

means I've got something in my life that stays in my life a constant that makes me happy whether it be friends whether we someone to work is a constant that makes me grateful for my life and I've done that for year and a half nerve and I found it really powerful again it might not work for you but my main message here is give yourself a bit of a break maybe and remind yourself II could I can't my save you up to date all the time not some constant looking for work but because one it said it's all for updating your CV when you are looking for a job right it is one of the

worst things in the world and two I have a list Ami's I have a list of achievements that I have done at work that I can look back on ago maybe I can do my job maybe I'm not the worst and it sounds so ridiculous and so simple but for me it is ridiculously powerful to have a black and white record of things that make me feel good that I can be proud of because it's not sleeping mean to myself I have to be kind to myself and that's really hard by find if I'm kind to myself I find it a lot easier to be kind to others and being in a tech company of

being in a tech environment empathy to our users to other people is massive it is so important and this to me is a really easy way of doing it cuz I've got to be nice to myself so I'm gonna be nice to other people so I'm going to talk about self-care now like traditional self-care what we think of over here self-care so South care isn't always meditation and or baths and yogurt can be all of those things I am NOT crapping on bubble bath meditation and yoga but there is so much more to self-care sometimes it is that I let people take my turn up first it's one my favorite tweets in the lot it's on tumblr but you know there are

levels of self-care on the most basic stuff to the more complex stuff and I'm gonna go talk all of them as one how are you self-care and what I can do what I can't do as a barometer but how well I'm doing some no come on your basic self-care brushing your teeth in the morning in the evening showering Greg Dulli feeding yourself something that isn't just McDonald's night after night after night or your mum's really nice I don't know ever making yourself presentable to yourself and to other humans when I'm feeling really bad brushing my teeth is the first thing to go my teeth are awful because I didn't brush them for a while because I was too busy struggling with

everything else that is my warning sign that is pound the alarm I need to do some work on myself for me it tends to be that or showering or wearing clean clothes for pee for a lot of people that I speak to it tends to be that kind of really basic I don't deserve to be nice and clean because you feel quite nice after a shower don't you and putting clean clothes on you feel good and deep down you don't feel like you deserve that so you don't do it I thought I said that is my big warning sign making myself fit for human consumption as I call it then he bought your other stuff

which is harder also it's harder to do and harder to notice when it's slipping I find reaching out to people going hi how are you why don't we just I must say reaching out to people I don't mean I'm having a hard time I mean literally talking into people that you enjoy talking to that kind of sleeping that kind of slowly coming back into yourself a little bit because I think's a little bit too hard that's really important I can be really important I think it's really important people to do but it's really hard when you're struggling to do it keeping physically active doing something cozen staying in bed or going from the bed to the sofa and staying on

the sofa than going back to the bed again that stuff again mmm it's really hard to for me that's another that these are all like warning signs when I'm not doing these things I love going to the gym I'm one of those people so I don't wanna go to the gym that's the way for warning sign being mindful there's nothing meditation it can just be going for a walk without music doing not scrolling through your phone and constantly which is the thing that I do a lot I pickup crafts and I do a fair amount of crafts and I pick them up just so I'm not stalling through my phone constantly cuz I will just sit on the

sofa I'll put my laptop down and then pick up my phone and just pick up where I left off on Twitter so doing something that isn't just mindless refreshing of a page doing something playful there is a whole book that again there's a link to it in the side notes beside it's about the importance of play in adult life in work life as well as in personal life it's a fantastic looks like 200 pages very quick read and it talks about how as children we learn social rules through play and then as adults we kind of learn we kind of stop playing so we stop learning and sorry I'm sorry so play is a safe way of learning about

social wars and how to navigate situations like playing board games like playing Monopoly which is the worst ball game therefore what is one that we probably most of us have played right that thing of like when do I buy something when do or not buy something losing all that money all that kind of stuff it's a safe way of navigating the unknown and taking risks right you learn this stuff through playing board games and then we don't do anymore when we're adults well some of us don't I do but you know what I mean like we are told to not play anymore cuz that's not an adult thing to do and actually is really important reconnecting with that

actually can be really fun and really important my life has been so much better since I all good side organizing a month the games night in a pub because I played one I'm talking to my friends and I'm playing games but also I am playing a game and it is fun and I do not have to think about work I can swear with the people I love the most because they've just screwed me over in this game in fact one of my friends also suffers quite badly and again it is a safe place to work for us to swear each other and get it all out because we both know we're both already competitive but

we both know it doesn't mean anything it's a safest place doesn't have to be ball games that's just what I do but something that's fun make your life fun because Christ you've only got one of them I'm sorry - makes me real existential as well so I've got into it now I know when you do that then that then come over here Oh max why I have a thought about mindfulness and my formal occasion I like mindful meditation on the sides there are some as Dropbox link stew some mp3s and some PDFs about Michael meditation if you want to give it a go but it doesn't help everyone in fact for some people it makes them worse

like there are some conditions and some ways that people think we're but because my for meditation if you've not done it you do something called a body scan and so you think very specifically about different parts of your body and move up or down your body I find it really relaxing like I can do it and just drop off to sleep halfway through however for some people it makes anxiety worse it's not gonna help in a crisis so the reason I have a bit of beef with a microphone affectation it's because of the way the NHS has been cooked and all the funding has been cut at one point people ringing one on one in crisis and we're being told to do

mindfulness meditation it's like no I need something a bit more intense than that really so it's it's seen as a band-aid quite a bit and also there are sites coming out now that it makes some people actively worse so try it by all means I love it if it doesn't work for you please drop it because it's mindfulness isn't for you and I know a lot of companies to do mindfulness as a shortcut for look how great we are and I have me through that because you can't mindfulness is can promote and contribute to well-being but it's not a one-size-fits-all kind of thing and it certainly won't fix everything so but I love it so take from that that is my

mindfulness disclaimer so first time that's the first time in this talk up done that right first time an amazing so this is really important I find this being really important someone that I can go actually you know what I'm not doing great I know just go yeah all right okay I find lying or hiding things really hard and I do it at work because sometimes I walk into work on a Monday morning paper go right how was your weekend and what they don't hear is me to go crying mostly no one wants that all they want you to hear is fine thanks how with quiet how is yours that's what people want alright and that's fine that is a social

contract but it's nice to have someone I can go nah been a bit rubbish I find that really important so there is also a link to this to a mental health supports lock that I run I'm admin off if you have no one that you feel you can reach out to but you need to reach out to someone come join that suck we are all people who have are familiar with mental ill-health we will give you support advice if you ask for it we will give you a friendly ear if it's easier to type them to talk cuz trust me when I first started talking about this stuff it was much easier to type things out than it was to say it to

someone's face and watch their face change you can use whatever name email you want no one's gonna know you can be entirely anonymous please come and join us if you need to because I do feel this is really important to have this kind of support and we can offer this support for you even if it's not like you're not diagnosed right you're just having a rough day that's equally important to get that stuff out as it is to go I'm having some troubling thoughts there are some apps there's also a list of apps that I've crowd-sourced that people find helpful this kind of stuff as well whether it be thinking about your feelings or finding people to talk to

all that kind of stuff I've not tried all of them but I've tried some of them and uh yeah they're all come recommended by other people or by me so again doesn't help everyone take what you will leave they're asked all that kind of stuff so the next part of my talk is gonna be how to be that person that it's all reached out to you how did he'll handle that conversation because a lot of us want to be open to that kind of conversation right but I think we don't get a lot of training on how to do things and it's quite scary for everyone so I figure if I can give you some tips

now about how to have those conversations how to deal with those conversations hopefully that will be helpful as well so we all want to be like the puppy that doesn't know what it's doing right we want to hell just like puppies want to make you happy but sometimes it's really hard because we have no idea what we want so like I said I've had the conversations from both sides I have had two so last year I went back to therapy and I what got therapy my first bit authority through the EAP at work and it was doing work time so I had to say my boss look I need to go back to therapy and he was like yeah

fine whatever you need then I got a new job I cook the mice later and I was like yeah I'm in therapy I need to work from home one day a week because I did a lot of work on myself actually last year I stopped talking to my family entirely which was a massive step I'm much better for it but it wasn't that I was a bit of a mess at work at times because I was dealing with an awful lot of stuff and work was amazingly supportive but I had to have these conversations people had to are these conversations with me and so these concepts like I've really gathered for the last 12 months

of having these conversations I'm also a mental health miss state or don't know if people know about the mental health first day program so some links like I'm on the slides so the mental focus a program is put on by mental health first aid England where this one has gotten into Wales and all over the world it's in some like 20 odd countries in nineteen different languages and it is of course that it's a two-day course and it gives you resources and tips on how to help someone in crisis in the workplace and so I wear a different color than yard at work that signifies that anyone can come and talk to me and go I'm having trouble I'm having issues

will sit well listen if someone is struggling will point them to resources we can do with people in crisis everything from like depression anxiety all the way through to people having a psychotic break suicide self-harm like it's a really intense two days it's amazing though I highly recommend it if working if you can get your work to do it do it because it's really good which makes like means I need a lot these conversations it's one thing so that way so I have four points to this part of my talk the first race these conversations are going to be awkward you are never not going to be awkward in these conversations doesn't matter what side the table you are because the

person living trouble is having trouble and there's not going to be having them like my words have gone just thinking about how these conversations that's the point very awkward very hard to articulate these things especially a bit somewhat under not spoken to you about before sometimes you're off your game you're thinking about something else you've got a deadline and as someone comes up to you you're like oh god I want to help but I wasn't expecting this and I've got other things to do oh Christ what am i doing that's fine as well just commit to being awkward but helpful and take make awkwardness part of your plan take the awkwardness pressure off you okay you don't have to

be perfect you just have to be helpful take the perfect pressure off you it's fine no one has this connotation perfectly because the other person is not perfect anyway is fine we are all fine all I want you to focus on and they start leading to my second point is being present in the conversation don't even think about what I'm saying to you now don't go aha hmm say about its conversations No think about the person in front of you listen to them fully and send to them because and this is the controversial statement you're not gonna be able to solve their problem I know we're problem solvers I taught us a lot to engineers their job

is solving problems this is not a problem you're gonna be able to solve the only person who can solve the problem is the person having the problem and trust me that's a hard thing for them to swallow as well it's really hard for me to really it was really hard when I realized that I would have to put the work in to stop being so anxious I wanted someone else just to take that away for me what's it can happen so if someone comes to us I'm having issues I'm really anxious I'm really struggling with stress don't try and solve problems at them have you tried whatever isn't actually helpful the analogy I have is

like if I come in with two bags is that the two bags are pops and a pint glass of water on the top when I say to you can you grab that pint glass I'm struggling would you take the point glass or would you say have you tried finding a table do you see what I'm saying I understand that people want to offer solutions but when you say have your tried what you're saying is oh no you deal with that I'm not even going to help you at all for not even a little bit because by listening you're taking that burden off them you're gonna have to give it back you're gonna have to give it back but you're gonna have to

give me the pint glass back okay you're taking it somewhere but taking off them just for a minute just for five minutes can be so helpful because you're sharing it with them and it is uncomfortable you're gonna have to sit and listen to some things that move you make might make you very uncomfortable but that is so helpful it is untrue so focus on listening first Center it sent to the person and they're not the scenario essentially I will now offer you a script the script that I use when people come and talk to me and have these things I'm sorry to hear that now it sounds rubbish how can I help change the wording to fit however you want to speak

I am a swearer I normally say that sounds really rough oh that sounds [ __ ] I'm really sorry what can I help what needed help and they might not know but you can listen you can sympathize and if asked to advice you can maybe put misses and resources before as fast you can put into sim to the Samaritans one one six one two three again program something who can offer them advice if they need to the fourth one I'm going to talk about someone who if it someone comes to you when you're worried about them so I'm going to talk a little bit about self-harm and suicide so if you this is gonna make them comfortable please do

leave honestly looking after yourself is more important than listening to this talk I promise if you're worried ask them you're not going to make some think about it more if they're already thinking about it or if they're not thinking about it you're not gonna make them think about it I'm really worried about you are you thinking of hurting yourself that's all you need to say if they say no great if they say yes right who can I call with you to tell them this again if all else fails the Samaritans they are there to do this they are given the training because you don't have the training to deal with this and be aware of this that you don't

have the training you don't have to take sitting with someone who might harm themselves if that's not what you want to do or if you can't do it if you're not emotionally like ready for that because it is terrifying so point them to the smart ins point them if all it smells drive them Duany it's not going to be fun but then being alive at the end of the day is they may be traumatized but they'll be alive okay ask them but do not take that burden on point them to someone trained point them to their own support system maybe they've got a support system already that's why I say who can we call can we

call someone see if they've been through it before they know there's people there they've got support system built-in okay not going to talk about anything hug pack again we're all good but honestly it's terrifying but ask it because people go thank you for asking no I wasn't but thank you for checking in with me because people do it to me people come to me and gone I'm really worried about you no no I'm fine thank you for asking but it's fine I'm always grateful people checking sit you're thinking about me and you want me to be safe that's amazing do not be afraid so look after yourself this is hard it's really hard to be someone's support

system even just for an afternoon even just for 5-10 minutes it can really drain you out because you're providing your your emotional support to them which means you're directing your own emotional support for yourself especially if you're dealing with your own [ __ ] as well yeah so set those boundaries so I've got five minutes but then I need to do a thing then look after yourself go do some of the stuff that I've talked about today go have fun go take the day off work early do something like that - I mean look after yourself because that is just important and you don't want to kill yourself looking after other people so whether it's on the table having that

conversation terrifying going up to your boss your coworker your friends and going actually I'm having a bit of a [ __ ] time sorry I hope people don't mind swearing I'm so sorry should have asked before hunt what does he want anyway but you know it's terrifying to go someone and admit that you're struggling that you're you're feeling it I do it I still do it often enough and I'm just about I mean just about got to the point where it doesn't feel like admitting that I'm weak so I'm not weak I've got through so much stuff with anxiety I am resilient as heck but admitting to someone that I'm struggling and it's because you can't cope with day

to day life is what you're saying right and that's it always feels a bit weird going yeah I don't have the energy to go shower anymore but there's nothing physically wrong with me is a really hard conversation to have so what I would what I do assume when you're not in crisis obviously if you're in crisis please tell people immediately as soon as possible during the samaritans whatever but if you just need some more accommodations at work or whatever and if you can feel yourself slowly starting to go what I do is I start writing things down because again I'm a writer I write things down what can work do so I didn't work contact

because I've got Toby but what can work do to make me feel better well ideal scenario would my work life be is it taking some time off is it trying to work from home walking is it time off to go to therapy maybe it's transition out of a role maybe you've taken a role that isn't for you find what it is and then you can ask for it and even if you don't ask for it in the end sorry even if you have a conversation you don't ask for it having that backing means you're like to have that conversation and you'll find a conversation easier I've said a lot about even if you don't do things

because I find a lot of time I may not do stuff but having that grounding makes it a lot easier to do the thing even if I don't use the stuff that I've used for the grounding so write it down or whatever have that conversation I just got someone to go look I am NOT I'm having a hard time like so I mean I say make one manages a okay enough that you can go can you have a word I think I'm having a bit of a rough time X is happening can we do Y to help because a lot of the time from my experience if you can tell people what you need they'll be quite happy to give it to you

and they'll be a lot less stressed out by it because remember when I told my first boss last year two bosses actually the first one last year that I was going back to I was troubling bring that we're in Costas immediate City talking about one to one and I was like right they say anything else much yeah I'm really struggling my anxiety was like right no powered pen at the ready he braced himself and I went yeah so I'm gonna get therapy through the EAP we have an amazing appointee assistance program at our work you get six three possessions for free completely anonymously amazing so I'm gonna get therapy through the AP I'm gonna use

that to then go to into private therapy I might need some time off work depending one of your point Misco it was like yeah that's fine anything else I'm like no no I'm pretty sure I've got a support network I'm pretty sure very much therapy will help with that he was like oh you've got everything down then I'm like yeah yeah I might get to work from home a bit more and he was like yeah of course whatever and that was it that was the entire conversation he was like he was almost disappointed that he couldn't help me more uh-huh which you may find people go into this all adrenalin and then you're just like oh

just need to work from home but like oh all right so that's why I find going preparing those conversations is easier because it means it does mean a little bit I'm taking a bit of a burden of managing their emotions a bit but that how I feel more comfortable these conversations go in yeah no actually I'm fine I'm just gonna deal with this you just give me permission and then we'll go so I'm getting towards into my talk so I hope you all have questions if not that's fine we can I'm really I already think this is my goal right Mayans actually will never go away I won't ever not be anxious there is never a day in my life

I'm not going to be anxious that is just a situation that I am in and yeah that's just my life and I have accepted that into my life that I am always going to be anxious that's mine maybe I'll always be on meds I don't know um but oh I think I just got bit overheated no no I'm good I'm good I find herb turns out talking about anxiety makes me back to sometimes it's fine yes no this is like my last night victory my side so I'm good I'm good I'm feeling okay now but yes so my ideal day today is that I can listen to my anxiety when I need to because sometimes it's helpful sometimes

being anxious about basic piece of software that testing means that I don't know it right off and I can do a better job I can do more investigating sometimes it just gets in my way so my goal is to listen to my anxiety but learn to ignore it what I need to because it's always gonna be there lying to me going that person doesn't like you you're not that good at your job and it's tough it's tiring some days it feels like my entire life I have two full-time jobs my actual job that pays me are there managing my mental health sometimes it feels like that and that's okay sometimes I'll do everything right and still be really not okay and while

it's not nice not being okay I've learned to accept that maybe that is okay at the end of the day and it's fine if all you get out of this talk is insight it what it's like for people then I hope that's helpful I'm really hoping you've got some tips out there that you can take away and use or at least use as a springboard to think about how you think about your mental house because so the reason is talk start it is because a friend of mine and a friend of pliers Vernon Richards asked me I know how to keep myself healthy physically but I've no idea how to do that mentally and I was like I know I

know how to do that and this is where these talks come from is because it made me realize that not everyone is hard to do this work and not everyone knows how to do this work and if I can it's so much easier to do it if you're feeling okay then when you're feeling rubbish trust me if you're feeling okay now and you can take this tool let's talk it away and do build that toolbox for yourself you'll have it if you ever need it hopefully you'll never need it that would be great but life kicks you in the face and if you have a toolbox for dealing with when life kicks you in the face you'll be

able to handle it a lot better and at least you'll know vaguely what you're doing so mental health is kind of how our Charlie people processes is a lot of agile is you take what works for the team and you throw away what does it and it's not changes you pick up somewhat new when you throw a zip away your mental health can be constantly evolving so fine stuff here that works for you fine stuff here that it finds something isn't in there that works for you throw away everything else if it isn't serving you that is fine maybe nothing in this will help you but maybe you'll go away think of your own stuff thank

you for coming and listening to me thank you so much so I will be around for some the day some we're asking questions about feelings in a room full of people is hard so you can come find me but if there are any questions I'm happy to answer them there it's like group it's so there's our thinking in the site in the in the last slide which looks like that there's the link to slide sorry thank you first no question so that bitly link will take you to this slide deck on Google Docs and all the speaking notes will be there and I will tweet it in stuff but it's called mental health support dot rocks

is the URL that will take you to sign up for our beautiful select group yeah it's just you're just signing yourself in don't sign up yourself and just get a link it's not like approved right I think if you do have issues ping me and I can I do an email address to it so it's fine yeah I personally keeping a gratitude Journal has changed my life in a way that I wasn't thinking it would do I picked up think you know this will be alright but actually it's made a massive changing how I think because at eight o'clock every day I get another education on my phone going alright are you grateful for today and so I have to

sit there and go right what am i grateful for today what interaction big or small has added to my day in a positive way and having that like having to think about that eight if I can do anything just gives me a little bit of a boost and I found that really helped I didn't want to help everyone it's such a small thing and I would not believe it myself if I was sitting there and I'm not done it but genuinely that I has changed my life in a massive really positive way so I would try the rock also I like to go back and look and realize that I put like it a friend like

five times in the last month Houck and then I could go sup friend ago you've been in my gratitude or lower too recently thank you so much for being there and then you made that person's day and your increase the amount of kindness in the world yes I first you know just show me your touch mean because pushing is amazing and I appreciate that but I wanted to just having stuff like that as well in my life I'm just little things that just I've got a snowball like a fake snowball that is I used as a stress ball and I also got it for over Christmas party from my old work that someone gave to me

you know I can't go stressful it's nice what some one thing I do want to say in in this bag of delights I've got so many people have seen on Twitter I've got their self-care maps so they're little things they fold out like this they've got some resources on the back they've got some bits you can fill in and if you want wanting they've not gonna be in the mental health room as well but feel free to take some I've also got some other like things I just had lying around some things to write out some feelings again that go in the mental health room but if you want to come grab some now you can all printed

is stapled by my own fair hunts or folded by my own two hands so please feel free to come and grab some if not like I said they'll be in the mental-health room next door there's 200 of these so but yeah other than that thank you so much for giving up some of an hour of your money to come and talk to me come find me later and can I be a break for next dog everyone yeah