Cyber Resilience Starts Within: A Mental Health Perspective by Ben Hartwick

[Music]

yeah so I wanted to take a minute today and just kind of address the elephant in the room and that's mental health um this field is pretty stressful so I thought hey why don't I give a talk about it so here's my agenda I'm going to give an introduction of myself going to talk about some job pressures impostor syndrome I think there's quite a bit of that out there I am going to talk about burnout how we can become resilient can this all be fixed and then if there's time we'll get to questions so introduction Ben Hartwick um I don't really social media that's not my thing um I'm from the college the school of the Hard Knocks so I did not

go to college that has been one of those things that led to that impostor syndrome with me so you know I I look at people out here I'm like man there's people that are bright I'm not one of them um I am the technical one of the technical advisers at MOX 5 so I get involved as soon as somebody's having that bad day and they recognize that there's ransomware all throughout their environment that's my job I take them through that Hobbies I like to spend time Outdoors like to spend time with my family music I overthink things I worry a lot I do a ton of soul searching and just looking for peace and calm you see here my dream

job is to be done with all of this I want to retire so why should I listen to this guy you showed up so I've been in this field for a long time I've gone through all of it as far as impostor syndrome burnout stress just the desire to not be in this field anymore I've lived through every point of the thing that I'm going to talk about here I've made a bunch of mistakes I think we all have um and I like to curse so you're going to hear that I Dro some f bombs in this if you're if you're concerned about F bombs if you're concerned about cursing now would be the time to get up and leave

but I think you it's not too bad so who's this talk designed for um people that are new to the industry you don't know what you're getting yourself into Veterans of the industry I feel for you this is for you Consultants it's tough gig managers sea levels shoot any field of life this is for you job pressure we're on to job pressure already cyber security this is one of those fields that just stresses people people out you always have to be right you know you're working in a sock you have to identify that intrusion you have to you have to know about it right every time nobody can do that people have really really bad days

when they're breached so this is coming from the client side the councel side the incident responder side all of it when somebody's breached it's a bad day real bad day we'll talk about that a little bit it's not just the company that's stressed out it's everybody that's in the engagement and then you've got some of us that like to put that self- pressure on ourselves we have to do everything right we have to be great well you know what might drive some of us and last but not least the world is in absolute shambles so I I'll show you how to avoid some of that impostor syndrome so I'm going to not kill you with PowerPoint don't worry

about that I don't have I don't have a bunch of really long slides but this this one really sticks out to me so it's a noun impostor syndrome the persistent inability to believe that one's success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of One's Own efforts or skills so basically hey it's people going I shouldn't be here when I got into this field I was selling phones to a guy in this audience uh so I was actually selling Voiceover IP phones buddy of mine says hey I've got this gig doing cyber security you interested I'm like man I don't know [ __ ] about cyber security and he's like no you know more than you

think you know I'm like no I I sell phones I know I know how to do a packet capture I know how to configure some switches some routers and he's like that's more than a a lot of people know you do know what you're doing come on over so there began my journey but what I'm trying to say is that you know just because you don't think you're the best at it you still know something there's a reason you got this gig then we'll talk a little bit about burnout all right so this one here physical or mental collapse that's all it needs to be said there's more to that but it's just when you physically and

mentally cannot do it anymore this is what I see in the incident response world this is what I see in socks this is what I see at doctor's offices this is what I see all over the place right now nobody wants to talk about it nobody wants to do anything about it well let's see if we can't change that can it be fixed maybe I don't know I think it's up to the individual so we'll talk now about kind of some of those res resiliency steps now I said I wasn't going to kill you with PowerPoint if you're going to take a picture of something don't do this because the words are too small basically the idea behind this talk is

that I went through and the CIS has about 18 security controls now it used to be 20 um to to implement into your environment to to keep your network secure I said man I wonder if I can do that with mental health figure what the heck let's try it control one this is supposed to be the easiest control out there you know there the first thing that you're supposed to start with inventory and control of the Enterprise assets nobody ever gets that right nobody ever knows what's in their environment I'll just let you know that now um but you know when I look at this I look at it as an inventory of your mental health

resiliency so what is that what's my mental state currently am I burned out am I stressed out am I happy am I glad I don't know and then you have to think about what are you trying to protect so as people that are in this industry they're going to go I'm chasing money I'm chasing likes I'm chasing anything but really protecting that mental health is what's going to allow you to do all of that going forward in this industry control two inventory and and control of software assets I liken this to goal setting so I think anybody in this field needs to have goals where do you want to be professionally in one three five years

if you're just getting into it hey maybe I want to get a job what's my next one well three years maybe I'd like to be an analyst instead of just on the help desk five years man maybe I'd like to retire that's usually about the time you get burned out start thinking of retirement we're want to be personally as well so the thing that doesn't get taken into effect enough is professionally nobody cares what you want to do personally but it's extremely important because if you don't set yourself up personally for Success you're never going to be able to do it professionally you'll also talk about hey where where do I want to be financially 1 three five years we all

know that the housing market sucks we know that inflation has risen I don't know what three five years looks like but I guess hopefully this year I'll be able to go spend some time outside and what can I do to achieve these goals so what you need to do start thinking about that start putting it down on paper data protection is number three control number three data protection how do you actually protect your mental health some people they like to get involved in video games turn yourself off some people like to just step away get away now I was I was listening to a talk right before this and it it was interesting she was talking about

capturing the flag and how you'll be staring at something a problem for a while you just need to get up you just need to step away free your mind because a lot of times that's actually going to put you in that place where you can understand and move forward and then change you know sometimes to protect your mental health there needs to be change change from within so whether it's change of job change of the circle that you're hanging out with doesn't matter sometimes change just needs to happen control number four secure configuration of Enterprise assets and software so what do this mean this this is when I look at this this is setting boundaries to accomplish your

goals boundaries have to be set in this industry boundaries have to be set in every industry so depending on what your professional goals are personal boundaries need to be set so hey you know what professionally I want to make six figures great I'm going to go get a job making six figures now but at the same time I only want to do that 8 to five you got to take what kind of a job you're going to get you might not go into the incident response world because that's not 8 to5 depending on your personal goals professional boundaries need to be set so yeah my personal goal right now I talk about family I talk

about Hobbies I talk about spending time away from work well I set some professional boundaries said you know what I'm not working 247 I'll be happy to come work for your organization but no I'm done at about 6 o'cl every once in a while yeah I might stay a little later but overall no I'm checking out because I have to to meet my personal goals and then depending on your financial goals man there's really tough choices that need to be made do I have that beer well might need to do that for my personal health mental health um do I buy a house you know just depending on what your financial goals are choices need to be made this is

where some of that change comes in control five count management and I'm flying through these right now I've got all sorts of advice for you at the end but I just wanted to kind of know show you how this is tied together control five account management knowing your limits this is one thing that a lot of people don't take into effect can you go 30 days in a row working with no breaks and burn yourself out going to step away you going you go weeks without personal contact sometimes you're on these cases you're looking at all sorts of stuff and you realize it's been two weeks and man I haven't seen anybody that's actually in my circle of

trust you function on a couple hours of sleep time zones change all of that or no sleep at all and if you're looking at you know knowing your limits financially you afford those drinks and you afford that fun maybe Access Control management this one is probably my favorite control because it talks about the circle of trust when I got into this industry there was no mentors out there there was nothing it just you get into this and you just learn it on your own well go get yourself a mentor is the mentor focused on helping you or helping themselves are your friends beneficial what do you need to let go from your life to accomplish all of

those goals that you set up earlier in those couple controls two and three control seven continuous vulnerability management soul searching in order to attain that mental resiliency you have to constantly reassess you have to think about hey things have changed am I happy with work is it meeting my goals no walk away am I happy with my personal life maybe these people are no good for me it's time to walk away am I happy with my financial status maybe you need to get a side gig or you go I make enough I don't need to make anymore I'm good you're staying in the same spot control number eight as we go through these is audit log

management so this is where I look at following up with mentors and Friends let those in your circle of trust know what your goals are let them know so that they can hold you accountable if it's just me holding myself accountable I'm going to slip on a lot of things when I've got somebody that I trust a friend a mentor and saying hey this is the goal I want to achieve can you help me achieve it yeah I'll help you I'm going to hold you accountable for it you want to also listen to their advice good or bad doesn't matter listen to it you don't have to do everything everything that somebody says but it's advice

nonetheless can be good can be bad listen to it troll number nine email and web browser protections so this is where you want to control what you are saying and who you're saying it to so throughout the the years in all the industries I've gone through there's those that just [ __ ] they just complain they it's all they do don't bring anything to the table are you bringing Solutions along with your bitching and does what you're saying actually build people up or destroy people so this is where you have the ability to control how you're doing it my recommendation is you know even if you're new been in your career a while opposed to just complaining bring a

solution it may not be the right solution they have to accept the solution that you bring bring bring something to the table instead of just a complaint you're going to make it a lot further in life control number 10 malware defenses we all know that malware defenses are needed to to protect your environment well a healthy body and a healthy mind these are really important not you know a lot of us we work remotely from our basements from from a desk we go oh that little a or pain I don't need to do anything about that what's your body trying to tell you stressed out you burned out is that headache actually a headache or is it a brain tumor go go to

the doctor go get stuff checked out you know take some time to actually help yourselves listen to your mind you know if your mind is telling you you need to step away so that you can actually solve the problem step away step away hey that kind of takes us into this data recovery thing so when I help people through Ransom where incidents um one of the big things I always ask them do you have backups do you have a way for us to recover you no they don't well mentally you need to be able to recover you need to mentally refresh you need to take your breaks I don't care if you schedule them on your calendar 15

minutes every couple hours I'm taking my breaks probably already set up for that with your work time for a vacation this is one that everybody should do take a vacation take a vacation now plan for it six months down the road so that you're actually planning something and looking forward to something is it time for a stiff drink around a bonfire mental refresh or go and touch some grass you know we spend all day behind computers just go out there and just be with nature just a little bit touch grass as the kids will say I I you know every once in a while I'll have a good game in video games and some kid just

comes on and says go touch grass because I've just shopped them eight times in the face playing video games you know I think we need to do that here as well all right control 12 Network infrastructure management so what does that mean to me creating a plan for dealing with the stressors in life scheduling those doctor's appointments and going to them you know young you don't have to worry about as much you get some gray in your beard go get that physical schedule your alone time you know I don't think enough of us do that you know even if you have families I've got I've got kids I've got a wife and you know scheduling that alone time for

myself is huge because I don't want to deal with their problems either sometimes you just have to step away eat eat your lunch I don't know how else to say that I don't know how many days I sat behind a computer the sandwich next to me where I'm like man there's another hour I'm just giv the organization schedule the time step away and schedule that vacation I think we talked about that on the last slide go on the vacation don't sit there and just wait for that paycheck oh we're going to pay you out on your vacation great I just worked three straight years so I could make a couple Grand forget that noise take that take

that break take that vacation control 13 network monitoring and defense listen to yourself and your circle of trust so it started off kind of in my intro I've been I've been in the field for a while since the late 90s right that's that I mean what was that that was like that's at least five years I think it was five years ago that the late 90s were um um so but you know what what I found when I first started my career is that it was based on loyalty everybody had to be loyal to the organization that they were at you know what if it's time for a change because your employer sucks leave you'll find that once you're

in the cyber security industry for a quick minute you're going to be really marketable won't have a hard time finding a job you know if it's time to just close close your computer close it walk away I'm done for the day it's not going to be the end of the world might want to let some people know especially if you're running a case or something but you know everybody gets a chance to step away if it's time to unplug unplug sometimes it's I'm closing this I'm unplugging the damn thing see you I'm walking if it's time for that sick day because you're stressed because you're just you're not there that day you've got something else

that's on your mind you know what take a sick day that's what they four you know mental health is also a sick

day we're almost to the end of these controls this is this is the part that you know here we're going to talk about some security awareness and skills training you know adversaries are always changing the their their attack vectors so let's try to level up you know let's do some of that skills training level up personally and professionally go get that certification you know certifications are cool they're they're going to help you find that next job uh go back to school you know I I told you I I didn't go to school I thought man I'll go back to school I actually had worked for a hospital and they're they're like yeah you have to go to

school you have to have a bachelor's degree to work here I'm like um being paid decent I don't see myself going 50 Grand in debt I found a new job uh so pick up a hobby learn how to play the guitar learn how to play the air guitar learn how to play the Bongos just do something out of the norm I I guess knitting is a big thing now or crocheting I I hear that a lot of people are getting back into that um because nobody can afford clothes because of inflation um and then so read read some of those books and I don't care if they're smut novels I don't care if they're just

try to pick a book that doesn't have to do with with anything computer oriented unless it's like ready player one or something like that that's pretty cool um or you know step out of your comfort zone and meet somebody new go out and actually meet somebody you'll find that when you step away from a computer and you step away from social media and actually just go interact with people people are actually decent they're not all these crazy psychos that you see on some of these platforms they're actually good humans out there you should go meet some of them that's my recommendation control 15 this is your service provider management that's that's a tough thing to do in in the in

the world is just you know trying to manage service providers that's that that can be that can be a daunting task um for me it's friend and Mentor assessment I've realized in this world that unfortunate as it is some relationships they they just end their course whether it's your Mentor maybe you've outgrown your Mentor maybe it's an old high school buddy that you're like oh man this person was great but they're they're not helping me they're not they're not with me sometimes you just have to step away you know I look at it is your friend helping or hurting I had a lot of friends that they to drink a lot drinking I don't have a problem with

drinking um but when you're trying to stop drinking drinking isn't cool maybe those friends aren't worth hanging out with is your Mentor helping or hurting so there's there's a spot I think in a mentor's career where they go man I'm just finally at that point where the person that I'm mentoring has has almost surpassed me and they might start looking at some of their own self-interests uh ditch those people you've you've gotten out of them what you need to and then here's the thing that it's time for everybody here reach out to somebody else become a mentor for somebody else so I I've been trying that I I'm not good at it I fail a lot um I

probably give people terrible advice but yet people still listen to it here and there um but you know help some of those that that are newer into the field some of those that that are older in the field help them to understand how the new way of doing things is me I'm an old dog in this field I I really am there there's not many people that have been in it as long as I have and to watch the newer Generations come through with their ideas and their way of doing things it's exciting to me I want to just take them all wrap them under my arms and go okay you're the next folks to do this don't [ __ ] it up the way I

did this way so even if you tell them your mistakes control 16 application software security wow that's a mouthful this is where I reassess those goals from earlier uh you know I talk about one three fiveyear goals well I like to reassess those because you know what my goal after one year it may have been hey I want to get that promotion well [ __ ] I lost my job one of my my new goal this year is maybe go find another job I didn't actually lose my job and I'm not looking for a job but that I could see where that's a an issue I read about a lot of people losing their jobs um but you you always have to

continue to reassess those goals all of them and throughout and that's that's where this control comes in think about it you know how close am I to accomplishing my goal I told you in my intro my dream job is retirement I've got nine years nine years and I'm done I'm stepping away unless something happens it's my goal right now I said a 9-year goal figure out how close you are to those and keep pushing forward and did my goals and mental and health objectives change before I had kids my goal was to make sure I made it to work I was working 1:00 in the afternoon till 10:00 at night man I need to wake up I

need to go to my job I need to be to the bar by 11 those were my only goals you know and so as life happens you need to reassess those goals you need to switch them up a little bit possibly so control 17 incident response management so incident response management this is where I'm at right now in my career and all I can say is holy [ __ ] everything is falling apart because when somebody is breached when somebody is hit with ransomware they don't know what's up what's down down what's left what's right they know nothing how can you get back on track so as as you're going through these first 16 controls of this

and then everything falls apart what do you do how can I get back on track I heard somebody say once eat the frog has anybody ever heard that saying before so eat the Frog what that is is nobody wants to do it it's doing that thing that you absolutely don't want to do and knocking it out at the first part of your day eat that frog because you know what you don't have to stress about that all day long you don't have to stress about that all week long quit putting that stuff off that's just a stressor and just do it you'll find that you you're just lifted up just a little bit because you've done the thing that you

didn't want to do and it's tough that is one of the hardest things in this whole presentation to do is to eat that fro remember setbacks do not mean complete failure you could be going along one three five years everything's going smooth something set you back you didn't lose everything up until that point just a setback keep pushing forward keep pushing forward and then always think what can I learn from this what can I learn about all my failures work for a gentleman and we were trying to figure out how to script triage packages to automate and come back to us so that we could then analyze those and like man I'm not very good at scripting but I I come up with

something and I'm like but what if it what if it breaks he's like man these servers are already busted what does it matter just just figure it out what can I learn from this you know I can learn that the the mistakes that I make along the way help create that tool that they now

use this is the last control then we'll get on to some advice so penetration testing welcome to the world the world is a giant pentest you guys realize that the world is a giant pentest so everything that we talked about in control one through 17 goals mentorship friends all of that the world is going to test that daily it's going to throw the most obscure stuff your way and you're supposed to deal with it so how do you deal with that you look back at those controls hey I had a bad day today you know what happened well I was in an airport for 6 hours that's terrible what can I do about that I can

call him [ __ ] that that's going to make make me feel good how about I bring a solution to the airline and say why you bump me up to first class and me that you made me sit there for 6 hours I took some of those steps that I had earlier instead of just complaining get something out of it it's time to test that mental health resiliency results are going to vary so as you go through this you know talk about setbacks I talk about learning talk about you know just continuing to push forward but you know what you're gonna make mistakes we're all gonna make mistakes I don't know anybody in here that's perfect not me my my wife tells

me I'm perfect but that's the only person that says that and she doesn't even say that uh but anyway so results are going to VAR you're going to make mistakes learn from them learn about where you are struggling so you can try to improve so I realized one day that you know what I was stressed I was burned out I had impostor syndrome what did I do about it well started looking at life and I said well I can sit here and I can chew on this and I can let it eat me inside and I can let it spit me out or I can do something about it well I flipped that script and

I said I do know a few things I know two things just two I woke up today I'm going to suck a little bit less today than than I did yesterday that's about it it's all I can really do is just try to be better every day you don't have to be great you don't have to be great you just need to be better today than you were yesterday all right let's change the world together anybody want to change the world talk about some communication tips some mentoring tips maybe the the 12 of us that are in here can uh can go out and change the world so I knew that there was probably going

to be some people that are new to the industry here right so I here's a communication tip for you strive to listen to understand so a lot of times you know you're listening to people information goes in one ear rattles around for a minute and goes out but you don't really understand it so you got to just really try to understand but then you're going to also ask some questions about that so that you can understand you're going to strive to set some boundaries when I started this industry when I was started in this industry drank from the fire hose 247365 for about four years straight just drinking from the fire hose I needed to set some

boundaries strive to set some boundaries you're not going to be able to do do it right away I hate to say it that's just the way this industry is right away you're going to jump into a career and you're going to go man I'm finally in the cyber security cool and they're going to chew you up and they're going to spit you out but you know what set some boundaries you'll be all right and understand it's okay to fail and not to be perfect somebody hires you they they finally bring you in to their organization they know you're new they know that you're going to fail how bad do you fail learn from those mistakes so understand that it's

okay to fail and my mentoring tip for those that are new to the industry get one get a mentor I never found one I wish I would have how do you find them they're usually the person that's going to be a little salty in a corner maybe they've been chewed up a little bit maybe they've gone through the ringer a little bit they can tell you some of those mistakes they made along the way they can tell you how to just do a little bit better find a mentor next up is my my favorite the veterans of this industry so you'll notice there's a there's something that's pretty familiar here is listen to understand so at this point

now now you're you're a veteran you've been in the field for two three years that's that's what I consider a veteran so uh you know you need to just listen to the higher ups you need to listen to the people that are below you you need to understand where they're coming from listen to understand it's now your chance to question the norm and present some of those alternate ideas I wish I would have said hey I'm not working past seven o00 wish I would have done that years ago it's time to know your own boundaries you should have already been there to to set up some personal boundaries some Financial boundaries some professional boundaries know what

they are and adhere to them know that you aren't perfect either you're still going to make mistakes you're still going to fail my mentoring tip find the Newbie bring them up teach them your way your way is not so bad you've been in it a couple years now you haven't died Consultants I don't know how many do we have any consultants in here right now okay cool this is this is pretty much a moot slide then um you'll notice that still says listen to understand because as a consultant you need to understand what your clients are actually asking for I don't want you just chasing the dollar don't just chase the money chase a solution come up with

a solution for your clients don't overcommit just would drive me insane when when somebody would say yeah we can we can do this and they overcommit they overcommit for their team because they got a lot of faith in their team but you know what it takes more than 24 hours to bring up a network that's been down mentoring tip Mentor your clients you might want to Mentor some other staff but Mentor your clients to take that security Journey with you be by their side don't just disappear when things get tough don't walk out got them managers any managers in here any managers dealing with a little bit of uh burnout little bit of imposter syndrome

all of that stuff here's my communication tip for you let them know it's okay to set those boundaries you're like yeah it's all right to have boundaries make sure that your employees don't think that they have to answer you on slack teams email at every hour of the day it's okay to start your message with hey I'm working tonight please respond to this in the morning that way your employees aren't stressing about what they haven't responded to go bat for those that are under you you know be the one that actually goes to bat for them with senior leaders my mentoring tip so you're in a management role so you know you're kind of already

essentially trying to Mentor people I hope but help by setting some realistic goals or actually having goals i' I've worked at a lot of organizations where there's no goals it's kind of neat but at the same time having a realistic goal is cool then also care more about the person than the result your employees are going to screw up they are but you know what caring that person you're going to help lead them you're going to help boost them up and they'll do a better job for you the next time my favorite manager was the one that just said to me you're terrible at security get better tomorrow that was my realistic goal get better tomorrow and

you know what after a couple years I got a little bit better I'm not perfect yet I don't are there any sea levels in here any any of the the sea Suite I know a lot of them don't come to these these events because there's not enough sales guys there um but here's here's something if if you want to send this to your sea levels you can tell them that Ben sent sent you um you know communication tip talk about good things that are happening in the in the organization but don't sugarcoat it you know be truthful about the struggles too so tell them about the good and the bad hey we did great today more than just

sales numbers you know talk about the happy client here and there be truthful about shoot we've got people leaving why why are we why are we having these struggles schedule time with individuals I got a boss right now a CEO right now that reaches out to me and he says hey Ben you want to have a you want to have a quick 30 minute coffee you realize what that actually does for the morale that I have when and they're not talking work they're not he's he's not shoving numbers down my throat or anything like that how are you doing goes a long way when leader is that even a word I don't know it's all

right mentoring tip trust the decision makers that were put in place you put them there for a reason so I've seen this over and over again where some of the sea levels they feel that they have to micromanage their managers or their directors or their their whomever because you know this is this is truly my organization I've got all the stakes in it [ __ ] you put them there for a reason listen to them create an environment that people want to be a part of listen to those that have the courage to tell you what's wrong a lot of people don't like doing that with the big boss man no I don't want I don't want to tell

you what's going on listen to those people because they're actually trying to help so I'm going to wrap everything up and I'm talking to everybody here here's my this is my bullet point list of just being try to become an awesome human being this is how you do it spend less time on social media all right I'm not saying you got to quit it entirely you know LinkedIn is great for finding new jobs Instagram yeah I want to see pictures of my nieces and nephews every once in a while but you know what when when I look at people that follow a lot of stuff on social media just it's just bad news that comes through every

day and if you're constantly inundated with bad you don't get a chance to see the good that's out there eat the Frog do that terrible thing first so you can just get it out of your way touch grass go outside get away just un plug don't be overprotective be willing to put yourself out there be willing to fail fail often I learn more from failure than I do success take those risks doesn't matter what it is could be personally financially anybody want to invest in Bitcoin try every day to just be a little bit better it's kind of what I've been saying throughout this whole thing just be a little bit better you don't have to move mountains little bit

better life is short enjoy the journey along with the destination tell people that they don't need to respond right away I wish more people would do that that's that's really something I'm trying to sell I hope everybody gets on on board with that because I'm that type of person that puts a lot of pressure on myself and I would love to just know hey I understand that it's 11:00 at tonight we're in the incident response world you feel like you need to answer everything this is a tomorrow problem I wish more people would just say that right away say it in the subject line so as people that do need to check they can look and

go this is a tomorrow problem I don't even have to read it today so with that questions comments concerns how can I help

[Music]

[Music]